I am an avid lover of books. I won’t lie to you that I read all the time but I take a reasonable time out off my schedule to read. Books have a way of expanding your imagination, it takes you out of your small world into other people’s world. There was a time in my life when I read one novel per day. Whenever I start one, I won’t drop it till I am done. As I grew older, I realized the life portrayed inside those novels was way different from that I was experiencing, so my love for novels started to reduce.
At this point, I started to read motivational books but stopped after everything started sounding the same to me. I stooped reading for a while then picked up again after I saw someone post an excerpt from the book “The subtle art of not giving a f**k” on my WhatsApp. I have never been more interested in a book before that. Asides from autobiographies, Mark Manson’s The subtle art of not giving a f**k is my favorite book. I am about to read the sequel- “Everything is f**ked” and I thought to tell you about some of my favorite parts of that amazing book.
One of the reasons I love this book is it motivates you in a real way. From the moment I read the excerpt on a friend’s status I was hooked. When was I was done, I saw life in a different way.
My Favorites highlights
“But when you stop and really think about, conventional life advice- all the positive and happy self help stuff we hear all time- is actually fixating on what you lack. It lasers in on what you you perceive your personal shortcomings and failures to already be and then emphasizes them for you.”
“Problem never stop, they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded” If you think there will be a point in your life when you will have no problems at all, Mark Manson said I should tell you to WAKE UP FROM THAT DREAM
“True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving” Now that you know problems won’t go away, it’s better you choose your favorite problem.
“Whatever your problems are, the concepts are the same: solve problems; be happy.”
“Emotions are simply biological signals designed to nudge you in the direction of beneficial change”
“Negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, it’s because you are supposed to do something”
“Emotions are part of the equation of our lives but not the entire equation. Just because something feels good doesn’t mean it is good. Just because something feels bad doesn’t mean it is bad”
“An obsession and over-investment in emotion fails us for the simple reason that emotions never last”
“Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice- whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad”
“What determines your success isn’t, What do you want to enjoy?” The relevant question is What pain do you want to sustain? The path to happiness is a path full of shitheaps and shame”
“What you are is defined by what you are willing to struggle for”
“It turns out that merely feeling good about yourself doesn’t really mean anything unless you have a good reason to feel good about yourself”
“The problem with the self-esteem movement is that it measured self-esteem by how positively people felt about themselves. But a true and accurate measurement of one’s self-worth is how people feel about the negative aspects of themselves”
“Once you accept the premise that a life is worthwhile only if it is truly notable and great, then you basically accept the fact that most of the human population (including yourself) sucks and is worthless. “
“The vast majority of your life will be boring and not noteworthy and that’s okay”
“If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.”
“Pleasure id not the cause of happiness, rather it is the effect”
While there is something to be said for “staying on the sunny side of life”, The truth is sometimes life sucks, and the healthiest thing you can do is admit it’
“Often the only difference between a problem being painful or being powerful is a sense that we chose it, and that we are responsible for it”
“ It all comes back to how, in reality, there is no such thing as not giving a single fuck. It’s impossible. We must all give a fuck about something. To not give a fuck about anything is still to give a fuck about something”
“Nobody else is ever responsible for your situation but you”
“We all get dealt cards. Some of us get better cards than others. And while it’s easy to get hung up on our cards, and feel we got screwed over, the real game lies in the choices we make with those cards, the risks we decide to take, and the consequences we choose to live with. People who consistently make the best choices in the situations they’re given are the ones who eventually come out ahead in poker, just as in life. And it’s not necessarily the people with the best cards”
“Certainty is the enemy of growth. Nothing is for certain until it has already happened- and even then, it is still debatable. That’s why accepting the inevitable imperfections of our values is necessary for any growth to take place.”
“The more you embrace being uncertain and not knowing, the more comfortable you will feel In knowing what you don’t know”
“It’s worth remembering that for any change to happen in your life, you must be wrong about something”
“If it feels like you versus the world, chances are it’s really just you versus yourself”
“It’s growth that generates happiness, not a long list of arbitrary achievements”
“There is a certain level of joy and meaning that you reach in life only when you have spent decades investing in a single relationship, a single craft, a single career. And you cannot achieve those decades of investment without rejecting the alternatives”
“Honesty is a natural human craving. But part of having honesty in our lives is becoming comfortable with saying and hearing the word NO”
“It’s not about giving a fuck about everything your partner gives a fuck about; it’s about giving a fuck about your partner regardless of the fucks he or she gives. That’s unconditional love, baby.”
“Yet, in a bizarre, backwards way, death is the light by which the shadow of all of life’s meaning is measured”
Whew! Isn’t that a lot? Mark Manson gave us lots of truth in that book. These are just excerpts; the joy is in reading the whole book. Trust me, you would not put it down till you are done. I guess you will be having a lot of Aha and hmmmmm moments while reading it, so don’t forget to come back and tell me your highlights from the book.
Have you read the book? Tell me your favorite highlights in the comment section.
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N.B: The words in italics were extracted from the book “ The subtle art of not giving a f*ck”